Suffering from ISS? Don't Worry: There is a Cure!

So, last night I got in a funk. I was reading my work and thinking, "Wow, this sucks." My critique group loves it. Friends say they love it. Why can't I believe them? Turns out I had a short (but awful) case of ISS, or I Suck Syndrome. It was as if some nagging, whiny, hurtful, and hateful hag infiltrated my thoughts and actions.

Amongst my tumultuous ranting I started thinking about the publishing industry; how the odds aren't in my favor. I started to think about how I am not happy with some of the parts of my story, etc. I won't go into too much detail (there may have been some screaming and crying), but I will tell you the outcome.

I had sent the first chapter to a friend/ fellow YA reader early yesterday morning and she replied in my hour of need. Not only did she give an awesome critique, but she ended with:  "This is brilliant! But I'm sure you already know that." (HA! If she only knew). "You inspire me. Your drive is almost inhuman, and I wish I had some of it. I can't wait to see where your future takes you. You are going places for sure." Little did she know, but she had just given me the cure for ISS; a healthy dose of encouragement.

And you know what? She's right! If it's one thing I have on my side, it is stubbornness and tenacity. I can fix the parts of my story that I don't like. I can push back the fears of facing the publishing industry. I can tune out that negative voice that threatens to take my sanity. These are things I can do. Things I actually have control over. And yes, this novel may not get published, but that's not why I wrote it. I wrote my novel because I have a story to tell, and it needed to be written. Do I hope/wish/pray it will be published? Of course.

I know every writer will tell you just how special writing is to them. How in a world where no one understands or "gets" you, your characters always do. They are there for you when you want to give up. They take control of your brain until you have to tell their story.

Sometimes a temper tantrum is necessary to get you over a hurdle. Writing is hard. It tests your drive, your patience, and your skill. But most of all, it tests your faith in yourself.

Sorry that I have rambled on and on, but if you are suffering through ISS, persevere! You have a fabulous writing community that will be there to help you get through it.

First Draft High =)

I have been missing for a month! But, I have a very good reason as to why:  I am almost done with the first draft of my novel (yes, you can probably hear me screaming for joy from wherever you are) and it is probably the most challenging thing I've ever done. I just finished graduate school in May, and I don't think writing my thesis was as hard as writing a novel. I had a year to do my sampling and collect data and then writing it was the easy part. I actually wrote it in about 20 hours over the course of two weeks.

Writing a novel is hard. It makes you happy, sad, fearful, anxious, gives you ISS (I Suck Syndrome), and tests your drive. Luckily, I persevered and it is a fabulous feeling. I am about 8k words away from saying "I HAVE A FINISHED NOVEL!!" Albeit a crappy first draft, but a draft I can work with. I cannot WAIT for revisions. I know some of you may think I'm nuts, but I love to revise. I was a journalist for a few years and then did technical/scientific writing, and revising has always been more fun for me than drafting.

So I guess this blog post is an apology for my lack of posts, but also to share my good news.

Tell me some of your good news! Or tell me what part of the writing process you like most; drafting, or revising? Or something else? I would love to know =)

Why I Write - A Writer with Sarcoidosis

The hashtag #WhyIWrite has been trending on Twitter lately and I thought I would do a blog post on why I write. Writing is very personal for me as I'm sure it is for anyone who writes. I've been writing since I could write. When I was in kindergarten I was allowed to stay inside from recess so I could write my latest story. My friend Ginny was my illustrator. When you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I always replied, "an author." I pursued my writing through college by majoring in Journalism. I loved telling a story and learning the craft. When I graduated, I continued to write and landed a job doing technical and scientific writing. There's not a whole lot of creativity in technical writing, but I still managed to write in my free time just not on a daily basis. 

In 2009 I began experiencing weird symptoms; swollen joints, large painful lumps formed under my skin, I had terrible headaches, pain everywhere and chronic fatigue. I kept going to my primary doctor who ran some tests, but he couldn't figure out what was going on so he sent me to a rheumatologist in January of 2010. That was when I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis; a multi systemic autoimmune disease that was already in my lungs, skin, eyes and joints with the possibility of it spreading to my heart and brain. The pain was so bad I would cry every morning when I woke up and tried to walk. After months of aggressive treatment they were able to get some of the swelling down, but it never goes away completely. Some people go into remission, but I have the symptoms that typically mean it's chronic and I'm in for the long haul. 

I dove into my writing after my diagnosis. I poured my heart and soul into my notebooks, lived in my imagination and tried not to get too down and depressed about what I was facing. Learning my limitations is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Coming to terms with who I am now as opposed to who I was isn't easy. Writing has been my outlet, my therapy and my saving grace. I have chronic fatigue and brain fog that never goes away, but writing is something I can do curled up on my couch with my laptop in front of me (as I'm doing now). Not to mention I can live vicariously through my characters. I write because I have to. I write because if I didn't I would be in a much worse mental state. I write because I have a story to tell. I write because it keeps me thinking positive. I write because I love it.

Why do you write?

Before I Fall, Lauren Oliver

Synopsis:


Samantha Kingston has it all, popularity, the hottest boyfriend, freedom to do as she pleases, and most importantly, three of the very best friends/partners in crime anyone could ask for...or so she thinks. Sam, Lindsey, Ally and Elody are peas in a pod, attached at the hip, finish each others sentences, etc. If they start a rumor, it becomes truth almost instantly. The power of their popularity is scary, no one dares cross them for fear they may become the next target. One night after partying, drinking and bullying, Lindsey is driving them all home when all of a sudden they swerve and hit something. Sam is sure she is dead until she wakes up and the day starts over. Sam starts to think maybe it's her job to fix what happened, fix her life, or just fix something so she can stop waking up on February 12th for days in a row. Sam's journey goes from self preservation to self realization as she finds out what she needs to do to make things right.

I love to read books on my lunch break at work, it's just what I do. I was finishing this book up last week and you just shouldn't read this book at work unless you want to explain to people why you are crying. Lauren Oliver is a genius. I finished Before I Fall (and how awesome is that title?) and Delirium (review to come) in the same week. Her writing is so powerful.


When I first started Before I Fall, I felt like I was watching Mean Girls or some other high school drama bullying going on. You can't help but hate Sam and her gang at first because of all the awful stuff they say about/do to people. They are master bully's; if you aren't in their circle, you are very much out of it. On February 12th, the day starts off like usual; Lindsey picks Sam up for school, they get coffee, go through their day, and end it with a party. Only on this day, something terrible happens. When they are on their way home from drinking at a party, Lindsey is going a little too fast. They get into a terrible wreck and Sam thinks her life is over. Or is it? When Sam wakes up it's February 12th....again. Sam has to figure out what went wrong in her life in order to move on.

The relationship between Sam and Lindsey is an interesting one, especially since Lindsey is the one who started a rumor about Sam when they were in grade school. But one day at a pool party, Lindsey enlists Sam's help in humiliating another girl; Sam jumps at the opportunity and a friendship blooms. Not to mention in sixth grade, her boyfriend, Rob, said he was too cool for her. How easy Sam forgets she used to be one of "them."

Lauren Oliver touches on a subject that is dear to my heart, high school bullying. She shows how cruel high school can be, and the consequences that cruelty can have. This book is an emotional roller coaster that will take you high and then drop you. I love Before I Fall.

Five out of Five stars!

Giveaway Winner!!

The contest is now closed for entry. Thank you to all eight who entered! I really appreciate you all taking a look at/following my blog. I have just gone to random.org and the winner is....

...
...

BRI SCHIEBLER!

Please leave comment on this post to let me know you are aware you are the winner, then email me with your address and what book you would like at yabookwhore (at) gmail (dot) com. If no response if received within 48 hours, a new winner will be chosen.


Thanks to all who entered. Stay tuned for more giveaways throughout the month!

First Blog Giveaway!

Okay, since this is a new blog, I'm going to do a "First Blog Giveaway," and I'm relying on you guys to spread the word and make this successful!! I have FIVE signed books from the Breathless Reads Tour that I will be giving away in the next few weeks. The winner can choose between: 

1. Matched, Ally Condie 
2. The Replacement, Brenna Yovanoff 
3. Across the Universe, Beth Revis 
4. The Eternal Ones, Kirsten Miller  
5. Nightshade, Andrea Cremer

You have until 5:00pm MT on Saturday, March 5, 2011 to sign up for this giveaway. The winner will be chosen from the comments by random.org and announced between 6:00pm - 9:00pm on March 5th.

To Enter:
Simply leave a comment on this post (must follow this blog) telling me what your favorite book is.
 
Don't believe me? Just look at the pics ;) Now, go spread the word!

The Replacement, Brenna Yovanoff

Synopsis


In the town of Gentry, a parents worst fear is waking up to find their infant either drastically different, or dead. Someone, or something, has been replacing babies for as long as anyone can remember. Mackie Doyle knows he's one of them, although he's not sure what that is yet. He has a severe negative reaction to iron, and blood, and can't go on consecrated ground. To top it all off, he's dying. When Tate, one of his classmate's, sister suddenly dies, she comes to Mackie in hope of an answer. If Mackie wants to live, and save the babies from Gentry's ancient secret, he must learn what he is and how to stop his own kind from killing again.

I love a male point of view, and I love Mackie Doyle. He not only faces the every day life of an adolescent teenager, but he has to deal with the problems of being a Replacement. He tries his best not to stand out, but his father is a pastor, yet he can't go on consecrated ground. He has a severe reaction to iron which leaves him doubled over in pain, and to top it all off, people just know he's different (hence negating the whole "not standing out" thing). Mackie has two people in his life who don't care who/what he is, his sister, Emma, and his best friend, Roswell. It was refreshing to see these strong relationships and how far these two people would go for Mackie, because they love him.

Brenna Yovanoff has created a mysterious and creepy world for us to dive into. I felt like it should be overcast, rainy, and freezing outside because that is the world I lived in the whole time I was reading The Replacement. This book is a refreshing and original take on changeling's and you must read it. Now. So go get it!